When did we take away our children’s responsibilities and blame everyone but them for their failures. And conversely why don’t we credit those very same people with children’s successes.

I think we’re doing our kids a massive disservice.

Yep, they are putting down their expensively shod feet and declaring the fascinator a big no-no. Oh no. That’s terrible news for me should I be attending Royal Ascot this year, as I am a fan of the fascinator. And so is my favourite person Princess Kate. This will be big news for her since the fascinator bar applies in the Royal Enclosure, and since she’s royal I’m guessing that’s where she’ll be.

I like a fascinator because you avoid the dreaded hat clash. You know the one when you lean in close to your big hat wearing friend and the brims of your hats collide causing both a wardrobe malfuntion and the abandonment of the wonderful piece of gossip you were going to share.

Anyway if you are intending to go to the Royal Enclosure at Ascot this year keep in mind the following dress code, or they won’t let you in.

For women:

• Hats are desirable but anything with a base of less than 4 inches in diameter is not acceptable as a hat. Got that.
• Skirts and dresses need to be of a ‘modest length’ and fall just above the knee or below.
• Pashminas are banned/barred/disallowed.
• Strapless tops (and I assume dresses) are also out.

For men:

• Waistcoat and tie are compulsory.
• No cravats (Matt Preston is not attending in protest).
• Black shoes only. Polished is mandatory.

What do think would happen if Kate lobbed up in a fascinator? Do you think they’d really chuck her out? Probably. They can be very rigid about these sorts of important things. Image

Sharks are misjudged. And it’s all the fault of the media and its loose use of terms such as shark attack. And Hollywood is to blame as well. What with Jaws movies and the like it’s little wonder that sharks cop a bad rap.

Well that’s what researcher Christopher Neff says, and now he wants us all to be a little more politically correct and respectful to sharks by abandoning the term shark attack in favour of shark bite incident and putting that whole Jaws imagery right out of our over-active imaginations.

Oh I can see it now. Headlines scream, Surfer eaten alive in shark bite incident. Actually I can’t see it at all because it is really, really stupid. Water it down all you like—a shark attack is what it is.

Mr Neff, and I don’t think anyone will be surprised when I tell you that he is an American, said that swimmers were not on the (shark) menu and “there is no evidence any shark species develops a taste for human flesh.”

OK, Mr Neff, give us some credit. I’m fairly confident that most of us realise that sharks are not out there swimming around looking for human fillet mignon a la Jaws. However we humans, swimming around in the sea are a potential food source and I think that is what scares the living lights out of us—the fact that whether we are a seal or a human makes no difference to the shark.

However Neff say that I am wrong about this and that sharks don’t eat humans because we provide low nutrition—yes we are the junk food of the sea food chain. So if we are so unhealthy and apparently unpalatable, why do sharks come back for a second bite? For example if I slipped my husband a piece of liver there’s no way he come back for a second go—he’d spit it right out and wash his mouth out with alcohol. Yet people report that the shark comes back for an encore during an attack/incident.

Neff goes on to say that we should avoid beaches at prime shark time. Yes we all so love to swim when the sharks are around—good sport that. My favourite beach at a township called Amity (and yes I’m aware that was the town in the Jaws movie) experienced a fatal shark attack a few years ago. I was swimming in that very spot the week before the attack. Do you think a chicken-heart like me would knowingly swim where there were sharks? No signs, no warnings. There are now though.

Since then I’ve spent all my time swimming at patrolled beaches. When recently holidaying at the Solomon Islands I spent hours quizzing the resort staff about shark attack potential. “Lagoon, lagoon,” they laughed as if I was supposed to be reassured. Haven’t they seen the movie The Beach. That bad old shark breached the lagoon and ate the hero’s best friend.

I swam but all the time worried that I could be a potential shark bite incident victim. See, it just sounds stupid. Image

“Let them take whatever they want from me,” he’d said, “it’ll be of no use to me.”

This was a dinner table conversation that our family had had one day. We were all in agreement that we’d be organ donors, so when our family was called upon to make the decision, well there really wasn’t one to be made. My brother had made his wishes clear and we honoured them.

We found out later that people ranging from a toddler to mothers to grandfathers benefited from his donation. Become an organ donor. Fill out the paper work, have the dinner table conversation with your family, make your wishes known.

And if you need further inspiration, have a look at this video. Made me all weepy. Image

Rightio then, fantasy time over. I may have made up the True Colours duet (hell maybe even the whole karaoke thing) and I know that that blue jumpsuit I wore in the 80’s wouldn’t get past my thighs, but a blogger can fantasise on her blog’s second birthday. Because Gen X Journey and Princess Kate share a birthday. How about that?

So what was happening when I first blogged two years ago. Well one of my all time favourite authors Marian Keyes went into hiatus due to depression. Anyway she’s baking her way out of depression and is bringing out a cookbook as well as writing another book about the Walsh family which should be more fun than those depressing novels she’d been bashing out. No wonder she got depressed.

I also reviewed the Sherlock Holmes movie which I didn’t particularly like, and in a fit of irony, the sequel to that was released last week. I’ll have to go and see it for old times sake. I’ll give you a review.

One year ago, my hometown Brisbane was underwater and I tried to document what it was like to see people’s lives washed away in a sea of water. Fortunately the city is back to what it used to be. Individually there a still plenty of sad tales out there.

During the past two years I have written and published 519 posts. My most popular post?–Would you vajazzle your vajayjay? The one about Australian men’s penis size gets a regular airing too. Family stickers suck was quoted in the media. I now have a weekly newspaper column and I wait in hope for someone to realise my potential and syndicate it. I’ve also got a book waiting in the wings that is absolutely nothing to do with Gen X. I just need to find someone to publish it. Actually I need to find the guts to send it to a publisher which might well be a start.

Thank you to all my regular and loyal readers and those who make the effort to comment. I really appreciate it. Blogging can be a lonely process and I’m thrilled when people even read my work, let alone respond to it.

So happy birthday Princess Kate. And happy birthday Gen X Journey. Image

1. Surface clean living room and kitchen (pick up stray items, dust, vacuum, sweep)
2. Clean bathrooms (toilets, showers, floors, walls, mirrors)
3. Surface clean bedrooms (put away toys, clothes, dust)
4. Surface clean “extra” rooms (basement, office, play room)
5. Surface clean living room and kitchen
6. Clean bathrooms
7. Clean all interior windows (white vinegar and newspaper works great and is cheap!)
8. Sweep and vacuum all floors in the house (don’t forget stairs)
9. Surface clean bedrooms
10. Deep clean living room (mirrors, baseboards, dust artwork)
11. Clean bathrooms
12. Clean out closets (hang up clothes, mittens, jackets, hats)
13. Surface clean “extra” rooms
14. Deep clean bedrooms (organize drawers, check under bed, tidy closet, dust artwork, fans, lights, mop)
15. Surface clean living room and kitchen
16. Deep clean bathrooms (clean inside drawers, inside of trash cans, tops of mirrors, tile, mop)
17. Clean all door knobs, phones, entertainment equipment (remote controls), switch plates, banisters and other things that are repeatedly touched.
18. Clean out the refrigerator, take stock of food, organize pantry
19. Clean entryway, sweep porch (if you have one), clean out car (because they’re often our home away from home)
20. Surface clean living room and kitchen
21. Surface clean bathrooms
22. Surface clean bedrooms
23. Sweep and vacuum all floors in the house
24. Clean linen closet, straighten towels, sheets or regular closet if not applicable
25. Surface clean living room and kitchen
26. Deep clean kitchen (scrub appliances, wash trash cans, base boards, wipe down and straighten cabinets)
27. Surface clean bathrooms
28. Surface clean bedrooms
29. Clean one item you’ve been meaning to get to and haven’t (deep clean your stove, wipe down all light fixtures, tackle a particularly unruly area)
30. Sweep and vacuum all floors in the house Image

That all said, I admit to having a cleaning lady, but she’s a bit old and forgetful and she often doesn’t do stuff like clean the toilets and wash basins. So I do it when I come home from work. She does brilliant ironing though. I’d rather clean the toilet than iron. I really hate ironing. And she’s really sweet.

Anyway in a non-judgey way I realise that some people are a bit challenged when it comes to the cleaning department, sort of in the where in the hell do I start department, so I’ve found this info from the delightfully named Apartment Therapy that might help those of you who’ve made keeping the house clean a resolution. I’ll run the rest of it tomorrow.

• Deal with what comes through the door Set up a small area by the front door to act as a landing strip for incoming items into your home.
• Do your dishes after every meal This will help you stay on top of your kitchen instead of having it turn into a monster! No one really wants to do them (after all, you probably cooked dinner to boot). But waiting for another meal or until you have enough to fill the dishwasher just makes things feel overwhelming and easier to put off. The same goes for take out rubbish as well. If you need to take the rubbish out, place it by the front door to go out in the morning or dispose of it that night so it’s over and done with.
• Laundry If you have a washer and dryer at home, do a little bit each day. Spread things out so you don’t feel bogged down by 200 towels and stinky socks. If you take things to a laundromat, sort clothes as you go so things are easier to load up into machines when you get there. Fold them before you come home so you aren’t dumping baskets out on your sofa or bed and they can go straight into drawers and closets.
• Whistle while you work: Those who are happiest when cleaning are few and far between. Singing, humming, whistling or turning up the stereo are all great options to keep the beat in your feet and have fun while working. (Sadly I do not do this as everyone laughs at me and who can hear over the sound of the vacuum cleaner?)
• Set a timer: Most items on the list below should take no more than 20 minutes total. It’s easy to rationalize 20 minutes, but it’s also easy to get distracted by phone calls, emails, children and other projects that call your name as you tackle each chore. Set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes (which ever works best for you) and that way when it sounds you know exactly how much time you have left. If you find yourself off task it’s easy to get back on track.

I’ll add the following.

• Chuck out the newspaper and junk mail every day. Do the same for bottles. You don’t want your mother to think you’re an alcoholic when she see’s all the wine bottles lined up on the bench. Likewise for chucking them out en masse. Your neighbours will think you have a little problem.
• Deal with bills as soon as they come in if you can. Bad karma all those bills lying around the place. Pay them, file them. Get them out of sight.
• Put your clothes away before you go to bed. Put them in the laundry basket, hang them up if you’re rewearing them. Your floor is not a wardrobe. Same for shoes, find them a home and send them there.

Now if only I could get my family to read this. Image

Take a look and see if these images inspire you for 2012.

By the way–these Bupa ads–what on earth is Bupa?

Following is this week’s Gen X Girl weekly column that appears in the Townsville Bulletin’s Savvy magazine.

I had a houseful of Gen Ys over after Christmas. They all woke up distinctly green tinged, hoarse voiced and shaking hands. “Hangover” they all declared before proceeding to mope around the house, getting in the way and tiring me with their whinging.

People with hangovers really annoy me. As any good Gen X person knows, hangovers are not a badge of honour for our generation. A hangover is a sign of weakness. If you drink, you have a duty not to show it the next day.

So with New Year’s Eve festivities bearing down on us, I have devised my top 10 hangover cures. (Disclaimer: I am not a doctor nor do I claim to be. I am a drinker who prides herself on never getting hangovers. These cures were acquired by years of trial and error. Use at your own risk).

1. Vanilla milkshake and a chicko roll. I know it sounds disgusting but the milk puts a lining on your stomach, the vanilla flavour is full of sugar and the oil-soaked pastry gives sustenance. The cabbage in chicko rolls is a blood purifier.
2. Coke and fish and chips. It must be full strength Coke and the fish and chips must be accompanied by vinegar and tomato sauce. A perfectly balanced meal of carbs, protein and fat.
3. Dehydration powder, water and asprin mixed together in one glass. The dehydration powder (the stuff you take when you get diarrhoea) replenishes your electrolytes, the asprin is a pain killer and water rehydrates you.
4. Milk thistle. You can buy this herb from the chemist or health food store. The instructions say to take one with each meal. I prefer to take about five when I come home after a big night out and another five when I get up. Then I pop them all day. I repeat I am not a doctor so you should probably follow the directions on the bottle.
5. Drink a Bloody Mary. This is how I make them. Pour a nip of vodka in the bottom of a glass, add ice, fill the glass with V8 Hot and Spicy, sprinkle in a little Tabasco and a squeeze of lemon. Stir and drink. Repeat as often as necessary.
6. Cherry ripe and Coke. This is a variation on the fish and chip combination, but is ideal for those with a sweet tooth. The combination of caffeine, sugar and fat has curative properties.
7. Drink a slug of water as soon as you get home from a night out. Don’t do this the next day. Water is poison the day after drinking unless you add things like sugar to it. But the night before—as much as you can get down.
8. Go for a swim and put you head under water. It’s very peaceful under water and your inflamed brain cells shrink from the cold.
9. Drink some Gatorade. If you can tolerate drinking something that colour with a hangover, you can do anything.
10. Drink a Gold stubby. This is only for the truly desperate. It’s can’t be any other type of beer and don’t even think of drinking it from a can. It must be an ice cold Gold stubby with condensation on the side.

Choose one or choose them all. Happy New Year. Image