Rightio then, fantasy time over. I may have made up the True Colours duet (hell maybe even the whole karaoke thing) and I know that that blue jumpsuit I wore in the 80’s wouldn’t get past my thighs, but a blogger can fantasise on her blog’s second birthday. Because Gen X Journey and Princess Kate share a birthday. How about that?

So what was happening when I first blogged two years ago. Well one of my all time favourite authors Marian Keyes went into hiatus due to depression. Anyway she’s baking her way out of depression and is bringing out a cookbook as well as writing another book about the Walsh family which should be more fun than those depressing novels she’d been bashing out. No wonder she got depressed.

I also reviewed the Sherlock Holmes movie which I didn’t particularly like, and in a fit of irony, the sequel to that was released last week. I’ll have to go and see it for old times sake. I’ll give you a review.

One year ago, my hometown Brisbane was underwater and I tried to document what it was like to see people’s lives washed away in a sea of water. Fortunately the city is back to what it used to be. Individually there a still plenty of sad tales out there.

During the past two years I have written and published 519 posts. My most popular post?–Would you vajazzle your vajayjay? The one about Australian men’s penis size gets a regular airing too. Family stickers suck was quoted in the media. I now have a weekly newspaper column and I wait in hope for someone to realise my potential and syndicate it. I’ve also got a book waiting in the wings that is absolutely nothing to do with Gen X. I just need to find someone to publish it. Actually I need to find the guts to send it to a publisher which might well be a start.

Thank you to all my regular and loyal readers and those who make the effort to comment. I really appreciate it. Blogging can be a lonely process and I’m thrilled when people even read my work, let alone respond to it.

So happy birthday Princess Kate. And happy birthday Gen X Journey. Image

It’s like stepping back in history, isn’t it?  So who are they?  Top to bottom: Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney; Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn; Sophie Loren and Jane Mansfield (don’t you just love the look on Sophia’s face?).

Actually I’m being a bit tongue in cheek about the power mavens of Hollywood. I actually mean Lindsay Lohan and Megan Fox. Not quite sure if that sarcasm worked right there.

Anyway let’s start with Megan. She’s getting her forearm tattoo of Marilyn removed due to the negative energy it emits.

“I’m removing it. It is a negative character, as she suffered from personality disorders and was bipolar. I do not want to attract this kind of negative energy in my life.”

WTF???

“It warns me not to let myself be treated so badly by the film industry so that it breaks me down,” the actress once said of the Marilyn tribute.

Obviously Megan is blaming the Marilyn tattoo for her being dropped from the second Transformers movie and the debacle that was Jennifer’s Body.

It’s good then that Megan’s on top of it all. Good for her though I have to mention again that she is married to David Silver from Beverly Hills 90210. David Silver!

Lindsay Lohan isn’t concerned about Marilyn’s negative energy. No she can’t stop drawing similarities between the herself and Miss Monroe.

“People in their mind have created who I am and act as if there is no real person inside of me. Just like Marilyn. Marilyn never wanted to be just a celebrity. Neither do I… I had always thought that movie stars were in films that would last forever in your mind. But now the films don’t. I don’t want to be remembered as someone who just wanted to be photographed, who goes out at night, and gets in trouble.”

That can’t be right can it? Marilyn wanted to be a movie star. She devoted her life to being just that. I’m thinking that all that shimmering around and singing Happy Birthday Mr President was a tad celebrity attracting.

And Lindsay, sweetie, some advice. If you don’t want to be photographed, at night getting into trouble, can I suggest you just stay in. And don’t drive when you’ve been drinking. And don’t do drugs. And find a movie to act in (you peaked in Parent Trap). And you’re not Marilyn Monroe. And what is the name of the makeup you use that so successfully covers up your freckles? Now that would be information worth tweeting. Image

This is from my Gen X Girl weekly column in this week’s

Along with 11 million other Australians I went and saw the final instalment of the Harry Potter series last week. It was good, not great but that’s OK as the series generally was excellent, not at all over-rated. What is over-rated is the fact that it was in shown 3D.

3D is over-rated. Think about it. You are paying the price of the GDP of a small African nation to watch bits of paper floating just out of your reach. Whoop-di-doo.

And you have to wear those disgusting glasses that make you look like Roy Orbison in the afterlife. They are not only hideous looking, they are also heavy. So heavy in fact that I walked out of the movie theatre with two red indents either side of my nose. Not my most attractive moment.

They’re also distracting. Let’s be honest here—3D and the glasses don’t exactly give the clearest picture. I spend the whole of the film wondering who the actors were in the Three Musketeers trailer. I couldn’t clearly see their faces. Stupid 3D.

How then is the push for 3D TV going to pan out? I’d be thinking that if you jumped on the bandwagon early you’d be feeling dudded. It’s not as though there is a plethora of 3D programs out there for you to watch. And there’s the whole wearing of the glasses and what on earth do you do when people come round. Do you wear your silly glasses and let your guests watch the weird blurry TV or do you switch it off and have to make useless conversation?

Enough though about 3D. There’s heaps more things out there that are over-rated. I’ve compiled a list of my other top 5.

1. Twilight series. I tried, really I did. I persevered through books one and two and I have to be frank—they are crap. Lines such as “his lovely, lovely face” did nothing to convince me that these are nothing more than glorified Mills and Boons dressed up like vampires. Movies too. Rubbish.
2. Kate Moss. Can someone tell me why this woman is still and icon after 20 years? She is bony, skinny with ordinary hair and even more ordinary teeth. She’s not even particularly pretty. She lives on fags, booze and recreational drugs and it’s starting to show. Yet put her in a tweed jacket and a pair of denim cutoffs and hey presto the fashionistas go wild, a style is born. Why?
3. Pastel tattoos. They’re not even real tatts. More like a colouring book for the body of middle-aged women. If you want to commit to permanent ink on your skin till you die then go for a hard out one. Think Pamela Anderson’s barbwire or Mat Rogers’s primary colours.
4. Jazz music. Seriously it sounds like they are just making it up as they go along. Mostly listened to by skinny, older men who wear scarves and statement hats.
5. Facebook. Big fat time sucking device that keeps you abreast with the minutiae of someone’s else’s life that is more boring that yours. “Should I hang the washing out?” is not a post—it is stupidity. Look outside the window. Don’t bore your 456 friends with inanity. Image

If you’re really behind all things that are really cool, then you may have missed out on the later Harry Potter movies. You’re going to have to do do a lot of reading to catch up, have a movie marathon, or maybe have a quick look at Lucy Knisley’s cartoon summary of each Harry Potter book if you want to see the last one and actually know what’s going on.

Double click on the picture if you want to catch up with the first part of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One. Then you’ll sound all knowledgeable when you go to see the second part. If you’ve missed the whole thing should you say have been living solo in a Himalayan cave since the 20th century, then you may want to have a look at the whole series of her comics from the very first book by clicking here. Image

So what do you think of the promo poster for the US version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo?

I think the comments on the inside.moive site pretty well sum up the quality of audience that this new version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo will attract. Most of them seem to focus on the relative flatness of Rooney Mara’s chest. However luckily for Mara her boobs stack up much better than the “scary small boobs” of the Swedish actress (Noomi Rapace). Someone else elaborated further by calling Rapace’s breasts flapjacks. Truly someone wrote that.

Yep, that’s it. Reduce it down to the size of the lead actress’s boobs. Gosh it’s good to see a movie audience evolving.

Anyway, here’s the official trailer. Watch it or get yourself out to the video store and hire the Swedish version. Image

That message especially hit me when I leaned over to my movie companion and whispered “is this bloke as weak as piss or am I missing something”. “Weak as piss” she replied. Truly terrible, bad, stupid movie. I wanted all the main characters tto be hit by a bus as they crossed the road. I’d have cheered, truly.

The only decent person in the movie was the wonderful John Kranski who at least had the sense to flee town away from the self-indulgent threesome that made up the movie.

In fact, I don’t know why they just didn’t evolve into a threesome. It would have been a more satisfactory ending.

But Water for Elephants on the weekend. Well that was a whole different experience. I had very high expectations having read the book. There’s nothing I like more than a faithful replication of an outstanding book.

Actually it was a bit more confronting that the book. Robert Patterson was all broody, but not as much as usual. Reese Witherspoon was all circusy and stunty and maybe a trifle old for the part, but not so much it would bother you. And the elephant Rosie–well let’s just say I want a pet elephant.

If you haven’t read Sara Gruen’s book then perhaps you should. And read her newer one, Ape House. It’s brilliant too. Image