Apparently people are being stricken with “text neck” and “text thumb injury”. OMG.

According to British health experts the strain injuries stem from long periods spent string at small screens and tapping at tiny keys. The injuries are becoming more common as hi-tech gadget proliferate.

Shockingly, Tim Hutchful from the British Chiropractic Association reported that he had a patient who “developed inflamed tendons in her thumb from using her phone and was unable to use her hand for weeks due to pain.” What an idiot his patient was. I have very good advice. Stop. Put down the phone. Find a life. (Sorry, being facetious again.)

Hutchful also reports that the human head (weighing about 5kg) is not suited to tipping forward to read small screens. “If the head is held forward to squint at the screen, then the unusual position makes the head feel up to four times heavier, increasing the strain across the whole body.” One worker in 50 suffers from “text neck” in the UK.

Yes, more truly serious first world problems identified and labelled. Take care now (especially if you are reading this on your smart phone).

I was unpacking the dishwasher the other day, throwing a little tantrum in my mind about the cups. Why can’t dishwasher manufacturers get the slope of the cup holders right? If they could just manage that I wouldn’t spill the water that has pooled on the bases all over the kitchen floor. And as I write this it occurs to me that that is a perfect example of a first world problem.

Urban dictionary defines a first world problem as problems arising from living in wealthy industrialized nations that third worlders would probably just roll their eyes at. It’s also known as white whine.

Anyway I know that many of my first world problems are meaningless and trivial and I dare say selfish, but really what’s a Gen X Girl to do if she can’t complain. So find following my Top 10 First World Problems.

1. Because it’s Christmas time I have to stop buying myself all the things I want just so that people can have something that they buy me as a gift.
2. There’s nothing to watch on Foxtel. I pay for the service yet there is nothing to watch on 50 channels. There’s also nothing to record so I have to watch really, really bad TV, repeats and sometimes even advertisements.
3. My internet is slow. It takes ages for pages to upload. By then I’ve got bored and opened a whole lot of other slow loading pages just to pass the time. Then the computer freezes.
4. Everyone looks short and fat on my TV. This is especially bad when I’m showing holiday photos on my flat screen. I look short and my behind looks wide. The only comforting thing about this is that Kim Kardashian looks like that too. Stupid TV. I expect more from it.
5. I have to take the long way round the shopping centre to avoid the charity muggers. No you cannot pester me into donating to your charity. Didn’t your mother tell you it was rude to ask for things?
6. My purse is heavy because of all the five-cent coins I have in it. I despise the five-cent so much that I can’t be bothered to bend down to pick it up when I drop it. It’s not worth my while.
7. I hate it when the barista mixes up the order and gives me full fat milk when I specifically ordered a skinny flat white. Full fat milk tastes horrible and ruins my cup of coffee. Then I have to chuck it out.
8. Someone gave me a watermelon the other day. It had seeds in it. I couldn’t be bothered dealing with the seeds so I threw it out. Watermelon seeds spoil my enjoyment of watermelon eating.
9. I hate being nagged by my coffee machine. It tells me to empty the grounds container, fill the water, find some beans. Why do I have to do all the hard work?
10. Sunscreen makes me sweaty and hot. I don’t want to get skin cancer, but I don’t want to be hot. What to do?

Yep, selfish and shallow. So what are your first world problems? Image

CBS reports on a Cisco conducted survey on 400 students and 1,4000 young professionals aged 21-29 in 14 countries, asking about their tech habits and views.

One in three college students and young professionals considers the Internet to be as important as fundamental human resources like air, water, food and shelter.
More than half of the study’s respondents say they could not live without the Internet and cite it as an “integral part of their lives.”

Gosh that’s melodramatic, isn’t it–ranking the internet right up there with food and water. Perhaps they need to google that air is essential to life whereas the internet is not. Just saying.

Other finding include:

• One in three college students and young employees under the age of 30 said would prioritize social media freedom, device flexibility, and work mobility over salary in accepting a job offer.
• 40 percent of college students and 45 percent of and young employees said they would accept a lower-paying job that had more flexibility with regard to device choice, social media access, and mobility than a higher-paying job with less flexibility.
• 81 percent want to choose the device for their job – either receiving budgeted funds to buy a work device of their choice or bringing in a personal one in addition to company-issued devices
• 64 percent said they’d choose a connection over a car, while 40 percent valued the internet more than dating, listening to music and going out with friends. Half would rather loose their wallet or purse than their smartphone.

Right then. Looks like they’ll never move out of home then. Image

Now I don’t have manflu, but I will admit that the site made me laugh, and I may just exhibit a few of the manflu tendencies due to my hypochondriacal nature. Anyway with flu season well and truly here, here is some information directly from the site.

• Man Flu is simply a cold, the symptoms of which are greatly exaggerated by men.
  FALSE – Man Flu is a serious and potentially life threatening illness, and will no doubt soon be on the Health and Safety Executive’s list of Reportable Diseases. Man Flu is a distinct disease in its own right, and should not be misdiagnosed as a mere common cold.
• Women can catch Man Flu
  FALSE – Man Flu does not attack humans with the XX chromosome, only those with the XY chromosome. This genetic mutation effectively immunises females against Man Flu. This may account for the reason that women widely believe that Man Flu is actually just the common cold, but with a bit of extra drama thrown in for good measure.
• The best way to deal with Man Flu is to just ‘get on with it’
  FALSE – Extensive research has proven that the only way to combat the crippling effects of Man Flu is complete withdrawal to the sofa and uninterrupted mollycoddling by the girlfriend / wife.
• Men have a slower recovery rate from Man Flu than women do from the common cold
  TRUE – The effects of Man Flu can linger for days and days, compared with just a few hours for the common cold. If the man is not permitted the correct period of convalescence following an attack of Man Flu he can be plunged back into a critical condition.
• Man Flu is just a way for men to get sympathy / time off work / time in front of the telly
  FALSE – Man Flu is a bona-fide and debilitating illness, would men make a meal of that sort of thing?
• The pain and suffering of Man Flu is similar to that of child birth
  TRUE – Though at least with child birth it’s all done and dusted in a few hours, but Man Flu can last for weeks…
• The best cure for Man Flu is a cocktail of Night Nurse, Day Nurse, chicken noodle soup and whiskey.
  FALSE – There is no cure for Man Flu. Once infected the afflicted can only hope that the gods roll the dice in favour of life rather than slow, lingering death.
• While suffering from Man Flu, men would like nothing more than to go to work and try to forget about their affliction.
  TRUE – However, men recognise the huge risk of spreading Man Flu to other men. Indeed, a single cough in the wrong direction could hold enough Man Flu germs to wipe out a small rainforest tribe. Image

This is my column for this week’s Gen X Girl weekly column published in Savvy Magazine in the Townsville Bulletin

I’m in the midst of a relationship breakup. Well, we haven’t broken up yet, but I’m thinking all the signs are there. Neglect, indifference, lack of regard for welfare—classic signs of a relationship on the brink.

Actually now I’ve got all that off my chest I think it’s fairly clear. There is no future for this relationship so Facebook, I’m breaking up with you.

I will accept a bit of the blame for the failure of our relationship by admitting that my intentions for joining Facebook were not entirely in the spirit of social networking. I just wanted to connect with my daughter while she was overseas for six months.

It worked just fine for that, lots of tame scenery photos. You’d think that she was quite boring but I could only friend her on her fake Facebook page. Apparently the real one has too much information for my delicate senses. More likely she didn’t want me to know what she was up to. I respect that. I don’t want to know either.

Along the way I picked up lots of friends of my own. The only problem is that I don’t have any real interest in knowing what they are doing. I don’t have the time to check out their pages when I accept their friend requests. I don’t know whether they are married, have kids or where they work. This makes me a very bad and selfish Facebook user.

In the beginning though I did try to give it a go. I’d try to make witty comments on posts, say nice things about people’s photos, the usual and then, well let’s say I couldn’t be bothered. I think I might be too self-centred for Facebook. Or too busy having real relationships with family and friends.

The email account that is attached to my Facebook page hasn’t been opened for three months—that’s how long it is since I’ve accessed Facebook. I just know there will be hundreds of email alerts with things like friend requests, birthdays, comments on my page and I just can’t face it. The thought of seeing all those emails and knowing that I should deal with them sends fear into my soul. Really a breakup is the only option. The relationship has turned me into a procrastinator.

Anyway I’m not alone. People all over the globe are abandoning Facebook. This year has seen the takeup rate for first-time Facebook users drop. In the UK more than 100,000 Facebook users deactivate their accounts in May. In the US an estimated 6 million users did the same thing.

This disenchantment with Facebook even has a fancy name—Facebook fatigue. Dr Larry Neal, QUT Facebook expert (how on earth did he get that job?), says that the slump in usage is a “natural progression for any new technology or form of entertainment”.

“People are legitimately exhausted with it and the idea of having to maintain it and keep up with event invitations and the games that keep popping up in the feed,” he said. I hear you Dr Neal.

So Facebook, sayonara. And if anyone I know out there has sent me a friend request—I’m not ignoring you—I’d just prefer it if you gave me a call. Oh and happy birthday to anyone who’s had a birthday in the last three months. Image

So here’s what the directive said about a few manners matters pertaining to the office.

• Post-it notes are to be removed from your monitor/keyboard at the end of the day.
• Other than workstation identification and first-aid or fire warden signage, nothing is to be placed on workstation dividers, walls or doors at any time.
• Small bags may be stored under work stations during the day or stored in cupboards.
• Food must NOT be eaten at your work station.
• Mobile phone ring tones should be kept at a low volume.
• Watch the tone and volume of their voices and the language they use in the office.
• Ipods and MP3 players are not to be brought into work.

In the company’s clubrooms, which are designed for employees to relax and eat lunch, workers are

• banned from eating food “that emits strong odours”. (oops that rules out last night’s left over curry).
• microwaves, toasters and sandwich presses are unavailable in clubrooms, while fridges are not to be used for any purpose other than storage of daily lunch.

Make working in a cubicle a whole lot more fun, doesn’t it? Image

Of course you have. It’s everywhere. On the news, in the papers–we’re in the midst of a crime wave. And I have a theory on all this–you didn’t think I wouldn’t?

It’s because the playstation network has been down for a month. I think criminologists, police, sociologists and the like should take a look at the timeline of the increased offences and the length of time that the PS network has been out of action.

Now I’m not a big fan of the PS phenomena. My husband plays it a bit. I make fun of him a bit. I personally don’t like the violence that is inherent to the games and think that it leads users to become desensitised to violence. But that’s just me.

But I am prepared, in light of my theory about the downed PS network and increased crime, to admit that I could, just in a little tiny way, be a bit wrong. Perhaps constant playing of video games keeps criminals off the street and in their own homes. Perhaps that violence that is part of a game like Call of Duty is a way for people to live out their violent fantasies online instead of in the streets. Playing the video game gives them an outlet for their frustration that doesn’t include actual physical violence.

Now I can only quote US figures here, but FBI studies from 2010 suggest that crime figures have decreased while the engagement with video games has increased. This is startling due to the fact that in economic crisis (as the US is currently experiencing) crime figures have traditionally risen.

Harvard economist Lawrence Katz believes that video games may actually depress the violent-crime rate by keeping people occupied in a peaceful manner.

So even though your teenager, husband, boyfriend is anti-social, gets no exercise, has hardening arteries and trades insults online with underemployed people from around the world, take comfort in the fact that at least they’re not robbing your local bottleshop.

Playstation came back online this week.  Image

These two pictures show the average face of Australia. Well maybe not Australia, but Sydney. It is the largest city in the country and is representative of the country’s diverse racial background.

So this is how it works. Artist Mike Mike, a South African photographer based in Istanbul, was musing on the various racial types on a London Underground train. He decided to collect a series of 100 photographs from a particular location, compile them and come up with a single representative composite which he features on his Faces of Tomorrow site.

His work found regional differences in face shape, colouring and features. Peruvians and Iranians have bigger mouths, Ethiopians and Samoans have curlier hair, and fringes seem to be big in Latvia and Poland.

Anyway I’m running with the fact that this is what the average Aussie looks like. Young and good looking and as I’m an average Aussie, I’m think I’m looking pretty darn fine.