Now I’d just like to take this opportunity to introduce you to Phryne Fisher–quite possibly the coolest detective ever (yep, I know I sound like a 15 year old). I’ll fill you in. Basically rich woman takes to successful detecting in the 1920s. She surrounds herself with a inside man in the police force, a sensible ladies maid, a bit of muscle, a butler and housekeeper and a series of lovers.

She can drive, shoot, drink and fight all the while dressed in elaborately explained designer outfits all the while solving unsolvable mysteries. None of the 21st century angst so often seen in detective novels where the female is the lead character for Miss Fisher. She thinks she is perfect in every way. What a role model.

Reading the novels are like taking a step back in time and you find yourself immersed in the era. Ironically the lead female character in Razor is Tilly Devine who I first met via Death before Wicket.

So imagine my joy when I discovered that a TV series is currently being shot featuring Phryne (pronounced Fri-knee). It’s called Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. Should be out next year. In the mean time I recommend you immerse yourself in the novels.

To put you in the mood why not sample one of Phryne’s fav cocktails. The author conveniently provides recipes for varying drink concoctions in each novel. Alcohol, fearless heroine, cool clothes–can you see the attraction?

CHAMPAGNE PUNCH
In a punch bowl or large bucket, lay down a fruit salad of any seasonable chopped fruit and a handful of clean mint sprigs. Add a three cups of cheap brandy or rum and leave it covered for some hours. You can keep a mash of it under the counter if it’s chilled. To each pint of fruit add a bottle of inexpensive champagne, two tablespoons of sugar syrup and more mint. Taste for sweetness. If it’s too sickly, add a couple of lemons or limes. It will froth beautifully when the wine hits the fruit. Very decorative.

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Well if they say never getting married, I have a chuckle, or that they do some exercise, I nod wisely and think “so should I”. But if they say they have never, ever touched alcohol I thing “boring old fart” and turn the channel. I know, the judgement again, but really who wants to live to 100 if it’s going to be dull?  Me, I’ll be eating the cake and drinking French champagne every day when I’m 80. I am Marie Antoinette reincarnated.

Anyway Marie A and I are correct as it turn out. Dr Daniel J Carlat told us so. He’s associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Tufts University School of Medicine, author of “Unhinged” and the Mental Health Specialist for AOL Health’s Medical Advisory Board. So he’s qualified and all.

Anyway according to Dr Dan these are the habits we should maintain if we want to enjoy maximum health and enjoy our 100th birthday with all our marbles and no drool.
Swearing:And to think my mother thinks it’s my worst habit. Little does she know I’m saving my life. Swearing feels really, really good when you’re fed up, frustrated or just plain angry. But now researchers from Keele University in the United Kingdom have discovered that swearing may have a purpose, since it can help reduce physical pain. Now I know that when I let loose with my five minute f word inspired tirade on kicking my toe, I’m not bad tempered, I am in effect using a painkiller. Why well throwing around the F-bomb may trigger the flight-or-fight response, which can increase heart rate and aggression and help the body cope with pain.

Blasting your favorite music: When you find yourself being forgetful, go ahead and crank up the pod. Researchers at Glasgow Caledonian University in Scotland believe that listening to rock music at a high volume can improve concentration and boost memory. Please note it does not say pretentious classical music. During the study, psychologist had 16 volunteers of rock music lovers take a simple memory test four times — once listening to classical music, another listening to rock, a third time listening to static and lastly taking in the sound of silence. Study participants showed an improvement in concentration and memory when both types of music were played, but during the rock portion of the test, their brain scans revealed they needed less brainpower to complete the test successfully.

Enjoying happy hour: According to the latest research presented this month at the annual American Heart Association, moderate drinking (one drink a day for women and up to two drinks daily for men) may be better for your health than not drinking at all. Researchers in Italy found that male heart bypass patients who drank five to 30 grams of grog a day were 25 percent less likely to suffer from a heart attack or stroke compared to men who lived a liquor-free lifestyle. As for women, a separate 20-year study reviewed by the Nurses’ Health Study concluded that females who drank between one and 15 grams of alcohol a day (about one drink) showed a 20 percent lower risk of stroke compared to women who didn’t drink at all. So drink up. Image

So in honour of Thanksgiving, I’m posting a Thanksgiving email from Marney that has done the rounds a few years, but due to it’s outstanding passive aggressive nature deserves another outing this year.

From: Marney

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

HJB—Dinner wine

The Mike Byron Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

Looking forward to the 28th!!

Marney

Gosh it sounds like fun, doesn’t it? Happy Thanksgiving.  Image

However the reason why I am reluctant to go to the US is because I’m not a tipper. I’m an Australian, we don’t tip–it’s well unAustralian. It comes from a long history of it being the law here in Australia to pay your workers the minimum wage. Their very survival is dependent therefore on their ability to perform their job, not rely on customer handouts. Novel idea that America, you should try it. Anyway Aussies don’t tip–we’re tightarses.

Anyway this whole tipping thing has me flummoxed. Let’s say I was to go the the US how on earth would I know who to tip and how much. I’ve heard (and it strikes fear into my heart) that if you were to a simple thing like go the hairdresser you would be likely to tip at least three people–the colourist, the hairdresser and the hairwasher. How do you do it? Do you slip them a sneaky couple of bucks or do you make a big show of it? I am so grateful that the only tip my hairdresser gets is a bottle of wine at Christmas.

Apparently the tipping rate is 10% in the US. So if your drink costs $5 you are supposed to slip the barman 50c. Hardly seems worthwhile but I guess all those 50c add up. So do you leave it on the bar or yell out “Victor–here’s your tip” and wave that 50c around. Confusing to say the least.

How about porters at hotels. Do you pay then per bag or just one lump sum? Actually they could prescribe to the Australian customer service charter and not bother at all, but I know they do bother in the US (because they need that tip) so what do you do? Oh the dilemma.

Restaurants provide another problem. The tipping percentage rises to 20%. That’s a big lump on the bill, isn’t it. And awfully presumptuous I believe. I wouldn’t tip that–it’s too much. I’d probably starve or be beaten up by a sea of angry service workers.

Americans are horrified by our non-tipping culture. While eating with some US friends in Italy we had 15 euro change left over. They insisted it be the tip. I was horrified. That could have bought us 3 litres of wine (see my priorities). When I protested that the service had been nothing short of appalling and the food worse, they still insisted it was the right thing to do. I’m still mystified as to why poor behaviour should be rewarded and they were mystified as to why I didn’t want to tip.

In the UK they have a discretionary service charge that they like to slip onto accounts. It was a whopping 15% on the bill I received. When you take into account that I had to chase up the wine order, they charged me for a more expensive wine that I didn’t order, that the ordered water did not appear until dinner was served and the food tasted very ordinary do they really deserved a bonus? They should have known better than to take on a tightwad Aussie.

Despite what I said earlier I do tip. I usually leave my change for the staff at restaurants and more if the service has been exceptional and I round up to the nearest $5 or $10 for the cab driver (provided no scenic routes were used). If I pay by credit card I’ll usually leave a couple of dollars in the tip jar as I leave. However this is my choice and entirely dependent on the service I have received not on a handout culture. Image So do you tip or not?

You know limoncello and pinot grigio for Italy, palm reading for Bali and no one cleaned the toilets for a week so we could channel India. Actually I made that last bit up–I’m getting confused with the Commonwealth Games.

Anyway–Eat Pray Love? They changed it a bit from the book. Filled it up with good looking men. Billy Crudup (would you have kept that surname?)played the husband who was a vague shadowy figure in the book. I don’t like Billy Crudup–yeah he’s good looking and all but he’s morally bankrupt. He left his wife Mary Louise Parker when she was 7 months pregnant to shack up with Claire Danes. What an arsehole–who does he think he is, Tom Brady? So that was strike one against the movie for me.

Then were other lovely looking men to match lovely looking Julia. That’s a coup isn’t it? Having Julia Roberts play you in a movie. I mean Elizabeth Gilbert the book author is nice and all but Julia Roberts? Really? Guess there’s hope for all of us. I wonder who I’d like to play me in a movie?

Not Claire Danes that’s for sure. No I’m going with Julia Roberts too–except my teeth and hair are much smaller. Other than Julia’s salary it could be a really low budget movie, just Julia blogging away at a computer. Maybe the computer could crash to provide a bit of drama. You know–Julia sobbing pitifully over the keyboard. Box office winner I think. Call me!

So anyway as I’ve mentioned there’s lots of lovely men, lovely scenery, lovely Julia–it’s all just so lovely. Except for those people in Bali–methinks there might be a bit of the charlatan about Ketut and Wayan but I shouldn’t say since I’m trying to give up (unsuccessfully) being judgmental.

Sorry I’m sounding cynical but I think the hype of this whole Eat Pray Love thing has worn a bit thin for me. I loved the book when I read it the first time. Actually bought it for some friends. They loved it too. Then I read it a second time and I thought hmmm. This is a bit self indulgent. I mean if you are going to have a massive breakdown make it over something worthwhile–big drama about nothing.

And then I found out that Gilbert was able to fund this whole exercise by a publisher’s advance–well then I just got plain jealous and thought she was a big-carry-on-about-nothing sook.

You however may be nicer than me and really be all Oprah-like and be into Eat Pray Love. And if this is the case you can buy Eat Pray Love merchandise. There’s Eat perfume with a vanilla-y undertone, Pray smells like incense and Love well it’s all jasmine and floral. So cute. But if you are more visually oriented let me tell you about the Lancome Juicy Tubes collection called, surprise–Eat Pray Love Juicy Tubes Lip Gloss Discovery Set featuring bronze, cherry and coral tonings.

And then for hard core fans there is jewelry fashioned with a Balinese twist. Hmm not sure about these. I somehow think that Balinese inspired jewelry should stay in Bali along with beach pedicures and a full head of  little tiny plaits. Damn, all judgmental again–really I’m trying.

Anyway if you can’t decide whether to see Eat Pray Love or not, then work your way through this handy flowchart. It might just help you make up your mind. Image

I have been known to make up huge quantities of this mixture for a big night of cocktails. So why not make up a shaker and sneak it into the movie theatre when you go and see Sex and the City 2 this week. Just watch that noisy ice as you go past the usher. Gosh takes me back to the days I used to sneak Chicko Rolls in my ugg boots when I was a mere teen.

Cosmo Recipe
30ml lemon vodka
15ml triple sec
45ml cranberry juice
15ml lime juice
15ml sugar syrup

1. Add all ingredients and shake over ice in a cocktail shaker.
2. Strain into a martini glass.
3. Garnish with lemon.

To make sugar syrup boil equal parts of sugar and water over heat until clear. Cool before using.

Cheers! Image

I’d love to go to high tea where all they serve is a long luscious glass of Long Island Tea.  I’d probably collapse under the table after my second.

It’s a cocktail that’s brought many a maiden aunt undone as they partake of the Long Island Tea under the shade of a jacaranda tree.

It’s horribly alcoholic, which is probably why it’s my husband’s favourite cocktail.  So here’s my not so secret recipe.

Half fill a highball glass with ice. Then add

• 15ml Bacardi
• 15ml vodka
• 15ml gin
• 15ml triple sec
• 15ml tequila
• 15ml lemon juice
• dash sugar syrup (half water, half sugar boiled together till sugar dissolves)

Top up the glass with Coke.

Feel free to substitute any of the spirits with something you prefer. 

Cheers!

The Gimlet can be made on a gin or vodka base.  I prefer vodka as gin makes me bitchy. 

Wondering where you’ve heard Vodka Gimlets being recently bandied about?  It was the favourite tipple of Julie from the movie Julie & Julia.

Here’s how to make it:

• Fill a cocktail shaker with ice cubes.
• Add 45mL vodka
• Top with 45mL lime cordial (the good stuff not that bright green muck)
• Squeeze in juice of  1/4 lime.
• Shake till well combined and chilled.
• Serve in a martini glass.

If you like you can substitute citrus vodka, lemon cordial and lemon juice.

This isn’t my original picture by the way.  I made the drink, took a photo and drank the evidence before I realised I had stuffed up the photo.  Oh well!

Cheers!

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