This week’s Gen X Girl column published every week in the Townsville Bulletin Savvy Magazine.

Have you got a pair of jeggings? I swore to myself earlier this year that I would never wear such a ridiculously named piece of clothing, but I must confess that I broke my vow and jeggings are a staple of my wardrobe.

For those of you not yet educated into the ways of the female wardrobe I will explain. Jeggings are the love child jeans and leggings. They sound hideous don’t they, hence my original shying away from them, but let me tell you I was wrong, wrong, wrong. For jeggings have many benefits that those of you who are yet to discover them may not know. For example the jegging, while built like a jean, has the comfort and stretch of a legging. The jegging possesses a hint of formality yet are dead easy to tuck into long boots. They never need ironing and may in fact be the perfect item of clothing. However I will offer this as a disclaimer. The jegging, though close, is not a jean and therefore must be always be worn with a crotch and bum covering top unless you are a 6 foot tall supermodel.

I don’t own a pair of shooties though. Shooties are what happens when good boots go bad and get together with shoes. They look ridiculous, cut the wearer off at the ankle making their legs look short and fat and are just butt ugly. I’m not sure why jeggings work and shooties don’t. It’s a fashion thing.

Broadly speaking though most fashion items that parade a something else rarely work. Take for instance the tankini. That is a really stupid fashion item. It’s the pairing of a bikini with a tank top. The result is two-piece swimwear that covers the belly. Well that’s how it works in principle, but the execution is entirely different. The tankini top rides up and settles itself in the nearest shelf of belly roll creating a fat bit highlight. Far better to wear a bikini and pretend that you don’t care rather than the half-baked pretender.

What about pyjama jeans? Would you wear them? I hope you are shaking your head no, because these are the laziest fashion item since tracksuit pants. The name pretty well gives it away. They are billed as the perfect solution for the busy person. “Just because you’re busy doesn’t mean you can’t look sharp.” Please, who is so busy that they can’t take 10 seconds to change from their PJs to their jeans? They may well be the solution to a problem that has recently been highlighted in the UK and is therefore likely to pop up here. A supermarket chain in the UK has banned pajama-wearing customers from entering their shops. Lucky pyjama jeans are on the market.

I’m not sure if a snuggy qualifies as a mixed fashion item. OK, it’s not a fashion item of any description but a blanket with arms does have its uses. I found one in a shop the other day for $12. That’s really cheap. I picked it up and felt it—so soft, so warm. Would work so well accessorised by a glass of red in front of the TV. And then self-respect kicked in. Image

Happy 50th birthday Princess Diana. Well happy 50th birthday if you were still alive.

British journalist Tina Brown wrote the accompanying article in which she looked into her crystal ball and came up with the following.

• Diana would have married twice more after dumping Dodi Al-Fayed.
• She would have kept her chin taut with Botox (really, I didn’t know they could do that. I may have to investigate that claim).
• She would have had gym buffed arms.
• She and Kate’s mother, Carole Middleton, would have been besties.
• She would have forgiven Camilla for nicking her husband, even befriending her on Facebook with Charles liking it. (Yeah, right.)

Oh did I forget to mention the mock Facebook page. It’s a doozy with Sarah Ferguson posting a drinks invite and Diana mentioning that she was front row with the Beckhams at the Burberry show. Really! Image

I’m shocked. Firstly that Katy’s mother is a preacher and secondly that someone who likes to tell us all how to live by God’s word wants to trash her own daughter in print. But that’s just me.

Anyway, guess what the worst, the most despicable thing that Katy has done to horrify preacher mum? Katy showed the top of her boobs. Not the whole boob mind you, just the tops. This is what she said.

‘Katy stepped out from behind the changing doors in a tiny risqué costume,’ she recalled.
‘No mother wants to see the top of her daughter’s boobs. My first instinct was to order her back behind those doors and demand she put something else on.
‘However, I had no problem letting my eyebrows say what I wouldn’t allow my mouth to utter.’

Gosh, she’s lucky that she’s not my mother. I show the tops of my boobs all the time and I’ve got a few years worth of droop on mine. Somehow showing the tops of one’s boobs, doesn’t really seem that shocking does it? It’s not like say flashing your bits like Paris Hilton.

But that’s not all Ms Perry Hudson is upset about. She’s apparently not a big fan of Russell Brand. Surprising that. Can’t see what she doesn’t like about him, though I think he’s hysterical and strangely clever, but maybe  it could have something to do with all that swearing, oversharing and previous addictions, but I’m just guessing here.

Anyway just to be clear here, Ms Perry Hudson’s intentions are noble. She just wants to save Katy from herself. That’s lovely isn’t it. I thought it was all about making money, but apparently I’m wrong. It’s about the boobs. Image

Powerball is worth $10 million tonight. It’s a decent amount. I know a million is a lot and all but in this day and age it would last me about 5 minutes. So I hang out for the big ones and I have a feeling that I might win it tonight so I’ve had a think about how I should spend all that money.

People have done noble things like buying tracts of land to save them from development and donated sizeable percentages to charity. Aren’t they wonderful?

Then there are the tales of woe from people who have won, and then lost big. Apparently it’s the F words that brought them undone. Family and friends. I wouldn’t even tell anybody that I won. However as I would likely be very drunk on champagne and probably blabbing on to anyone, then that most likely wouldn’t work. So here’s my plan. Give the family x amount of dollars and let them sort it out themselves. It will really give you an insight into their character, probably not very pretty.

However if I do win I’ve found a site that tells me how to spend my Powerball winnings. Amazing isn’t it that they think someone would win big and then immediately get on the internet to find out how to spend it. Not likely, but I’ve got the list here if you really want it. Some of the advice is good, some not so much. So courtesy of Ehow the list goes

1. Hire a financial adviser (I think they forgot to put in the adjective honest. Also look for one who’s not into the sharemarket)
2. Make small purchases at first (WTF!)
3. Pay cash for everything that you buy (haven’t you always wanted to pay cash for a Ferrari–oops forgot about point 2)
4. Invest a portion of the winnings (just not in the sharemarket or Storm Financial or Greek banks or any European banks for that matter)
5. Buy at least one guilty pleasure (at least 50 I say)
6. Pay off your debts (fair enough)

Very sound advice that someone should have been given to British winner Callie Rogers who blew $1/2 million dollars on cocaine. Naughty girl. She lost the lot, $4 million dollars and is now blaming everyone except her stupid self for it. She says that she should never have been given the money at 16. How does a 16 year old win the lottery? Is that legal? Well now she’s 22 with 2 kids and 2 new bouncy boobs and no dough. Dearie me.

 Me however, I have a plan–I’ve had it for years. This is what I would do, and probably a whole lot more.

• Buy an apartment in Paris or London, as my European base darling.
• Always fly first class where there is real champagne and leg room and showers and dignity
• Have a makeup artist and hairdresser on standby as I am rubbish at doing either.
• Have a personal trainer to whip me into shape as I will be frequently eating at quality restaurants that use lots and lots of butter and cream.
• Buy my daughter an apartment in the city and a car that always starts first go–ahhh the serenity and I’d never have to pick up after her again.
• Never, ever, ever work again. Not ever.
• Buy some fast racehorses so I can swan around racetracks in ridiculous hats that cost a fortune.
• Buy my husband a very fast car of his choice.
• Get myself a driver so I never have to look for a carpark, ride a train or bus or use a taxi again, in my lifetime.
• Give sizeable funds to well-chosen charitable organisations.
• Make both sets of parents financially secure.

The last two are to ensure that I don’t go to hell when I die.

How would you spend $10 million dollars?

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Check out the look on his face when he realises what’s happened.  Ooops!

The word is that David Kiely (for that is the banker’s name) is going to keep his job.  Gosh, even Miranda’s jumped to his defence and not even Macquarie Bank is going to deny Miranda.

Obviously only a man would look at these on-line photos because women have more sense than to kick their self-esteem up the arse.

And what a great thing for Australia.  The story actually made it onto E News and we know how our media loves it when the rest of the world realises Australia exists!