Those sorts of behaviour tend to make me want to walk out. Actually there is no tend about it. I do. And don’t go back for quite a while. And then I tell everyone I know about it.

I suspend cafes and restaurants. That means I will not darken its door, part with one cent of my cash for a given period of time (usually until I have forgotten how bad it was). One local wine bar is currently suspended for six months. Another has just come back from a year long suspension. I’m pleased to say it has lifted its game. It’s actually come to the state where my friends want to know which places are suspended so they can too avoid them, or at least avoid trying to meet me there as I won’t go.

The thing that is really annoying me at the moment though is the corkage charge. Now I don’t mind paying corkage. Especially when a place has a liquor licence. Corkage is fair. It’s especially fair when you are provided with a wine bucket, some decent glasses, the wine is untwisted and a bonus if the waiter treats your drop like it’s been purchased from their own winelist. However when I was charged $10 a head corkage at a new, unlicensed restaurant AND I had to ask for a wine bucket, glasses and then open and pour myself, well let’s just say I was little miffed. I haven’t suspended it but I only eat breakfast there now (even I don’t drink wine at breakfast).

Seems I’m not alone in this general jack-offedness about restuarants. One critic says that he wants to take a bottle of white-out to restuarants so that he can white out the unavailable wine choices that although on the list are usally unavailabe. Another mentions an EATING/DONE EATING sign that they can put out so that waiters get the general idea.

I’d personally like to add my own YES sign to flash at waiters as they invariably swoop in to ask if I’m enjoying my meal right when I filled my mouth up with food. Actually I wish they’d just go away. I’ll let them know if I’m not enjoying my meal or my clean plate will tell them that I did. See old and grumpy.

So here are some other ideas that critics (via the SMH) have suggested to improve the dining experience.

• Torch so you can read menus in dim lighting.
• Wedge to put under wobbly table legs.
• Sunscreen and hat for when you’re seated outside under an umbrella but the sun moves.
• Cardigan for over-airconditioning.
• Spare reading glasses: for the dimwit in every middle-aged group (eg my husband) who forgets to bring theirs and has to get their long-suffering partner (eg me) to read the whole menu to them.
• Pepper grinder: when you want control over how much pepper goes on your food, and when.
• Spare knife and fork: for when yours falls on the floor from those big white bowls that everything slips off.
• Whistle to attract waiters.
• Matches for lighting unlit table candles and in case you forget the torch (see above).
• GPS for navigating the way to hard-to-find toilets.  Image

Well that’s how I reckon Marcos Baghdatis was feeling right after he was beaten at the Australian Open. Those in the know say it was a veiled message at his racquet sponsor who is no more. I disagree. He just felt like throwing a tantrum. And you might as well be fined for going hard out. Four racquets is always better than one.

Anyway check out Marcos’ tanty. Sorry about the ad. I had terrible trouble finding the footage. Maybe Marcos threw another stirkey and got it banned. Powerful people those tennis people. The ad’s pretty funny too.

When did we take away our children’s responsibilities and blame everyone but them for their failures. And conversely why don’t we credit those very same people with children’s successes.

I think we’re doing our kids a massive disservice.

Anyway I came across a list from Careercast of the ten most stressful jobs.

1. Enlisted soldier
2. Firefighter
3. Airline pilot
4. Military general
5. Police officer
6. Event coordinator
7. Public relations exec
8. Corporate exec
9. Photojournalist
10. Taxi driver

And this is their list of the least most stressful jobs:

1. Medical technician
2. Jeweler
3. Hair stylist
4. Dressmaker-tailor
5. Medical lab tech
6. Audiologist
7. Precision assembler
8. Dietitian
9. Furniture upholsterer
10. Electrical technician

Agree or disagree?  And where does your job fit? Image

And here I was thinking that we had a drink after work just because we wanted to trash our livers.

Anyway the study says that the endorphins released, and they showed this by using brain imaging, are similar to those produced by laughing or exercising. The stress and pain-relieving proteins are naturally released in the brain and other tissues, producing similar effects to opiates such as morphine.

The only thing I find amazing about this study–that someone spent time, money and countless brain cells discovering something that the rest of the world has always known. Did we really need a study to prove that drinking makes us feel better?  Image

Sharks are misjudged. And it’s all the fault of the media and its loose use of terms such as shark attack. And Hollywood is to blame as well. What with Jaws movies and the like it’s little wonder that sharks cop a bad rap.

Well that’s what researcher Christopher Neff says, and now he wants us all to be a little more politically correct and respectful to sharks by abandoning the term shark attack in favour of shark bite incident and putting that whole Jaws imagery right out of our over-active imaginations.

Oh I can see it now. Headlines scream, Surfer eaten alive in shark bite incident. Actually I can’t see it at all because it is really, really stupid. Water it down all you like—a shark attack is what it is.

Mr Neff, and I don’t think anyone will be surprised when I tell you that he is an American, said that swimmers were not on the (shark) menu and “there is no evidence any shark species develops a taste for human flesh.”

OK, Mr Neff, give us some credit. I’m fairly confident that most of us realise that sharks are not out there swimming around looking for human fillet mignon a la Jaws. However we humans, swimming around in the sea are a potential food source and I think that is what scares the living lights out of us—the fact that whether we are a seal or a human makes no difference to the shark.

However Neff say that I am wrong about this and that sharks don’t eat humans because we provide low nutrition—yes we are the junk food of the sea food chain. So if we are so unhealthy and apparently unpalatable, why do sharks come back for a second bite? For example if I slipped my husband a piece of liver there’s no way he come back for a second go—he’d spit it right out and wash his mouth out with alcohol. Yet people report that the shark comes back for an encore during an attack/incident.

Neff goes on to say that we should avoid beaches at prime shark time. Yes we all so love to swim when the sharks are around—good sport that. My favourite beach at a township called Amity (and yes I’m aware that was the town in the Jaws movie) experienced a fatal shark attack a few years ago. I was swimming in that very spot the week before the attack. Do you think a chicken-heart like me would knowingly swim where there were sharks? No signs, no warnings. There are now though.

Since then I’ve spent all my time swimming at patrolled beaches. When recently holidaying at the Solomon Islands I spent hours quizzing the resort staff about shark attack potential. “Lagoon, lagoon,” they laughed as if I was supposed to be reassured. Haven’t they seen the movie The Beach. That bad old shark breached the lagoon and ate the hero’s best friend.

I swam but all the time worried that I could be a potential shark bite incident victim. See, it just sounds stupid. Image

Rightio then, fantasy time over. I may have made up the True Colours duet (hell maybe even the whole karaoke thing) and I know that that blue jumpsuit I wore in the 80’s wouldn’t get past my thighs, but a blogger can fantasise on her blog’s second birthday. Because Gen X Journey and Princess Kate share a birthday. How about that?

So what was happening when I first blogged two years ago. Well one of my all time favourite authors Marian Keyes went into hiatus due to depression. Anyway she’s baking her way out of depression and is bringing out a cookbook as well as writing another book about the Walsh family which should be more fun than those depressing novels she’d been bashing out. No wonder she got depressed.

I also reviewed the Sherlock Holmes movie which I didn’t particularly like, and in a fit of irony, the sequel to that was released last week. I’ll have to go and see it for old times sake. I’ll give you a review.

One year ago, my hometown Brisbane was underwater and I tried to document what it was like to see people’s lives washed away in a sea of water. Fortunately the city is back to what it used to be. Individually there a still plenty of sad tales out there.

During the past two years I have written and published 519 posts. My most popular post?–Would you vajazzle your vajayjay? The one about Australian men’s penis size gets a regular airing too. Family stickers suck was quoted in the media. I now have a weekly newspaper column and I wait in hope for someone to realise my potential and syndicate it. I’ve also got a book waiting in the wings that is absolutely nothing to do with Gen X. I just need to find someone to publish it. Actually I need to find the guts to send it to a publisher which might well be a start.

Thank you to all my regular and loyal readers and those who make the effort to comment. I really appreciate it. Blogging can be a lonely process and I’m thrilled when people even read my work, let alone respond to it.

So happy birthday Princess Kate. And happy birthday Gen X Journey. Image

The following is my Gen X Girl column that appears in the Townsville Bulletin’s Savvy magazine.

Apparently the world is going to end this year so I’m a bit hesitant about making New Year’s resolutions. Seems a bit of a waste to deprive oneself of alcohol and cheese to lose 10 kilos only to die before you get to show off about it.

However I will make resolutions, as I’m actually quite successful at it. Take last year’s resolution for example— to give up broccoli. Now some of you might think that’s an easy thing to do, but broccoli crops up everywhere. I spent the whole year vigilantly searching through my Thai food for the sneaky little green things so that I could chuck them out. I didn’t even cast a sideways glance at them as I passed them in the fruit and vege section.

It was difficult as everywhere I turned there was a news story touting broccoli as a superfod so resisting it took quite a lot of willpower. Despite it being quite a challenging resolution I did give up broccoli for a whole year and I feel a large sense of achievement because of it.

According to statistics however I am one of the few people who actually managed to achieve my resolution. I blame ambition and timing for this. Why on earth do people choose to go for the big things like giving up smoking the very day that they are suffering the best and first hangover of the year?

Willpower is low, craving is high and setting that goal to start on January 1 can only lead to a massive fail. What I propose is that no resolutions should be made or begun before January 7. That gives everyone the time and energy to continue to have a guilt free holiday hit out before the year really begins. Win-win situation.

I also suggest that people set their sights a little lower in order to achieve success. Now going for big stuff like giving up broccoli is only for seasoned professionals like me. If you struggle to keep your resolutions aim low. That’s why I suggest you give up prunes. Prunes, like broccoli are a superfood, so there’s still the challenge, but you won’t have to be picking out of your takeaway meals only your muesli. You will have to close your eyes tight as you walk past the packaged prunes at Coles, but I have every confidence in your ability to say no to prunes all year.

This success and sense of achievement will then lead you to making more ambitious resolutions for following years. Now you could go all unimaginative and do what everyone else does–boring stuff like lose weight, get fit, the aforementioned quitting smoking and other hohum stuff but you’re an individual—be your own person.

This year I tossed up all those things and added quite a few of my own like watching less TV and realising that alcohol is not a large slice of the healthy food pyramid, but that’s not how I want to sally forth into the new year.

So this is what I came up with. Every week, I am going to drink a bottle of French champagne. It could be difficult but I reckon I’m up to the task. After all, what’s life without a bit of challenge? Happy 2012