Along with 11 million other Australians I went and saw the final instalment of the Harry Potter series last week. It was good, not great but that’s OK as the series generally was excellent, not at all over-rated. What is over-rated is the fact that it was in shown 3D.
3D is over-rated. Think about it. You are paying the price of the GDP of a small African nation to watch bits of paper floating just out of your reach. Whoop-di-doo.
And you have to wear those disgusting glasses that make you look like Roy Orbison in the afterlife. They are not only hideous looking, they are also heavy. So heavy in fact that I walked out of the movie theatre with two red indents either side of my nose. Not my most attractive moment.
They’re also distracting. Let’s be honest here—3D and the glasses don’t exactly give the clearest picture. I spend the whole of the film wondering who the actors were in the Three Musketeers trailer. I couldn’t clearly see their faces. Stupid 3D.
How then is the push for 3D TV going to pan out? I’d be thinking that if you jumped on the bandwagon early you’d be feeling dudded. It’s not as though there is a plethora of 3D programs out there for you to watch. And there’s the whole wearing of the glasses and what on earth do you do when people come round. Do you wear your silly glasses and let your guests watch the weird blurry TV or do you switch it off and have to make useless conversation?
Enough though about 3D. There’s heaps more things out there that are over-rated. I’ve compiled a list of my other top 5.
- Twilight series. I tried, really I did. I persevered through books one and two and I have to be frank—they are crap. Lines such as “his lovely, lovely face” did nothing to convince me that these are nothing more than glorified Mills and Boons dressed up like vampires. Movies too. Rubbish.
- Kate Moss. Can someone tell me why this woman is still and icon after 20 years? She is bony, skinny with ordinary hair and even more ordinary teeth. She’s not even particularly pretty. She lives on fags, booze and recreational drugs and it’s starting to show. Yet put her in a tweed jacket and a pair of denim cutoffs and hey presto the fashionistas go wild, a style is born. Why?
- Pastel tattoos. They’re not even real tatts. More like a colouring book for the body of middle-aged women. If you want to commit to permanent ink on your skin till you die then go for a hard out one. Think Pamela Anderson’s barbwire or Mat Rogers’s primary colours.
- Jazz music. Seriously it sounds like they are just making it up as they go along. Mostly listened to by skinny, older men who wear scarves and statement hats.
- Facebook. Big fat time sucking device that keeps you abreast with the minutiae of someone’s else’s life that is more boring that yours. “Should I hang the washing out?” is not a post—it is stupidity. Look outside the window. Don’t bore your 456 friends with inanity. Image