Bees. Honeypot. That is me when I see articles called things like 12 Stay Young Secrets. You can read the original post here, but I’ve summarised it for you.
- How many weeks an hour do you exercise?Ideally 2.5 hours. Yay I do that which means I’m 30% less likely to die in the next 20 years unless of course I am hit by a bus while exercising. And that would be a waste wouldn’t it?
- What is your BMI? Ideally it should be under 25. Big fail for me here. I’m stuffed. My body is apparently secreting proteins and acids that are giving me cancer. I no longer feel so smug about my exercise.
- What is your waist circumference? It needs to be under 89cm if you want to cut your mortality rate by 23%. Apparently avocados and yogurt will help you with this. Really–avocados?
- What is your cholesterol level? OK there’s all this stuff about correct levels but it’s in American and I’m not working it out. So go to your doctor and find out. He’ll rouse on you if it’s too high and you’ll get heart disease and stroke and well, it’s not pretty.
- How much fibre do you eat? Well you need to eat 25g and considering 1/2 cup of lentils has 7.8g you’re probably not getting enough. Probably don’t increase your lentil intake though–you may have fibre, but you won’t have any friends.
- How much sleep are you getting? Less than 7 hours a night? You’re in big trouble. You are 12% more likely to die younger and not only that you’re going to become overweight from hunger regulating hormones. Now don’t Madonna and Margaret Thatcher only sleep 4 hours a night. Why aren’t they fat and dead?
- What is your blood pressure? It needs to be under 120/80. Anything higher than this and you’re in strife. You’ll need to reduce your stress and weight. My blood pressure was sky high last time my doctor checked. I’d just run a red light (very, very bad and carrying lots of guilt). It had dropped five minutes later, so I’ll add this caveat. Get your timing right.
- Do you have a pet? If not go and buy a cat because you are 40% less chance of having a heart attack. 40%–that seems a lot doesn’t it?
- Do you take antioxidant supplements? Well stop feeling smug because you shouldn’t be. They’re bad for you and you’ve got a 16% greater chance of dying.
- Do you wear a seatbelt?Would anyone say no? If you don’t wear a seatbelt then you’re an idiot and all of the above is the least of your worries.
- How many alcoholic drinks do you have a day on average? One–who has one drink a day? And you people who said none–well you’re not too clever either. One is ideal. I think the one plus one plus that I have puts me firmly in the camp of developing breast cancer. Oops.
- Do you smoke? Well obviously you should say no and if you do I don’t think these silly 12 questions are going to make you stop. Image
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