Gosh, haven’t we all gone Jessica Watson mad. I hope she doesn’t go the way of say a Big Brother contestant. Remember Sarah Marie–all bum dance and bunny ears. We couldn’t get enough of her and now where is she. Don’t know, don’t care.
She must be feeling pretty good about herself though–that’s Jessica Watson, not Sarah Marie. It’s a might big achievement to do what she’s done. Thank god I didn’t do an Anna Bligh (Qld Premier) and bag her before she set off.
Cleverly I wrote a favourable blog about Miss Watson so I’m not feeling like a dickhead right now. Anna Bligh’s gone “oh I’m a mum and I was worried”. Not your kid Anna. And you could worry about all those poor children in State care if you want to go all maternal on us.
Do you remember Jesse Martin. Must be something in the name Jess and the sea. Anyway Jesse Martin sailed around the world when he was 18 in 1999 in a boat called the Lionheart. He wrote a book about it called Lionhearted and it became one of those motivational books that people quote when they want to be self-important. I haven’t read it, but I’m sure it’s good.
I wonder what Jessica Watson’s book will be like. I sort of wonder how interesting a book about sailing can be, sort of like sailing itself which is a god-awful boring sport to watch. But I hope she does well out of it, and the documentary, and the movie and the public appearances and all the other things that she will do to make millions of dollars. Good on her.
I really hope that she gets those teeth fixed up if they are bothering her. If they’re not, well she should just leave them as they are, but I reckon they might be bothering her. They’d bother me, but I’m vain and self-absorbed.
Do you know what I’m loving most about her? The way she keeps falling down. I used to fall down a lot when I was 17 but that was more due to the fact that I tried to consume my own body weight in alcohol before falling down. Do you think that Captain Cook and his crew fell over a lot when they landed in Australia after sailing from England? Hadn’t given that much thought before. I hope I can sleep tonight while I work that one out.
I’m sure Jessica is getting lots of advice about what she should be doing so I’m just going to jump aboard (boat pun) and give her some advice about things she shouldn’t do.
- Do not under any circumstances employ Max Markson as your agent. Two words–Lara Bingle.
- Do not do a Ralph cover. Look what it did to the career of that girl in Hi 5. That’s right–what career?
- Do not attend any function where you are likely to encounter Anna Bligh. She will blind you with that big fake smile of hers and keep you in a choke-hold until someone takes a happy snap for the newspaper.
- Do not take to partying and drinking. If you are caught people will call you a bad role model and mistake you for a normal teenager–or a footballer.
- Do not talk about your boyfriend with New Idea or Women’s Day–please don’t. Image
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