It’s my birthday today and I’ll admit to being over 40. Right well that was fun. Nearly as much fun as googling after 40 and finding all these wonderful (that’s sarcasm) websites that give me all sorts of helpful advice.
Here’s a few that really resonated with me (again what’s with all the sarcasm today–it must be an after 40 thing?)
From Fabulousafter40 some shopping advice that reads like an Enid Blyton story.
Now that we are over 40, we need to stop shopping like we did when we were young. We need to buy less quantity and buy better quality things that we love and adore! Also, don’t be alarmed when you finally buy something that you really like and it is a little more expensive than you usually spend, that you feel bad about it at first. If you buy the right things, you will be happy in the end.
What a collective load of crap. Basically spend more moeny on things we love and adore (and none of us would like to do that, would we) and even though you’ll feel bad you’ll be happy in the end. OK!
They also answer the pressing question. Should women over 40 wear gladiators?
Yes, yes, yes they say–you just need to find a pair that are a little more refined and tasteful.
That’s interesting gladiators, tasteful and refined all in one sentence. OK, here’s the truth–no you can’t wear gladiators if you’re over 40. They make your legs look short and your ankles fat and you look like a tryhard Kate Moss.
At pregnancy-period.com (now that’s an oxymoron if I’ve I seen one) you can find out about pregnancy after 40. The site states that getting pregnant after 40 “is no big deal”. They lie. It is a big deal. Your eggs are in decline, you’re probably perimenopausal, medical intervention will most certainly be required and it can be a soul destroying process. No good sugar coating these things, y’hear.
Bestincosmetics.com offers this sage advice. I cut and paste this from their website. Paraphrasing it could not possibly do it justice.
Do not wear clothes and makeup used by the teenagers; wear clothes suitable for your age, which will give you dignity and good bearing. Wear light makeup and simple jewellery. Besides develop a lively interest in all things and have a sense of humour at all times which will give your face a nice tender look and not a frowning, cross look (which adds years to the face). Go for long brisk walks and do not look back more than you can help at your green years, for remember that every age has its own charm. Moreover, after 40 you have much more mature and dignified look than before. Therefore keep your shoulders back, hold your head high and above all keep the corners of your mouth up.
I was hoping for glamour goddess but how wrong I was. I’ve just got to keep the corners of my mouth up, and think of my green years. Do you think that something to do with global warming and having an eco-sound face? I’ve got no idea.
So these are just a few things to help me stay on the right path as I advance through the years. Personally I’m going to stick with hair dye, a long fringe and anti-wrinkle creams and always be grateful that I could probably get away with lying about my age if I wanted to.
Unlike the silly girl I saw at the supermarket the other day. She had established 1991 tattooed in old English font on the back of her neck. Stupid girl. It might be fine when you’re 18, but she’s not going to be able to wear a pony tail in 30 years time. Image
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Loved the line about the tattoo girl. That’s the thing about youngsters these days – they don’t have the grandpas with faded tattoos from WWII to know how nasty they look when you get older.