Think you can pick a mid-life crisis? Big red penis car, fling with a girl half your age, cycling in gangs. No that’s just what men do (or we women can too if we want). Men are really easy, but we women tend to be a bit more subtle, or maybe not.
According to James Hollis, author of The Middle Passage: From Misery to Meaning in Midlife (how’s that for an alliterative title), a midlife crisis is less about advancing years and more about the psychological experience. He believes the first effects can be felt in the late 20s when we stop our magical thinking and plunge into the reality that our dreams of immortality and specialness have all been a bit of a fantasy.
We have to grow up and face the harsh realities of being an adult. We have to answer the question “Who am I and how did I get here?” and some of us don’t like the answers. I know I didn’t.
But me, I’m clinging onto that magical thinking. I’m not prepared to give up on my dreams and I don’t want to fit into everyone else’s ideas of reality. I know I’m not ever going to host a chat show a la Oprah, my days of being discovered by a modelling scout are long gone (oh who am I kidding) and I don’t really thing that I’m going to be really, really rich unless I win Powerball. See I can face reality but I’ve also got a shitload of dreams that I’m not letting go of.
Anyway the good news is that I’ve only got about another 10 years to go before I get out of my mid-life crisis. I hope they’re magical years. Image
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When exactly is mid life? I’ve been argueing this point wih my partner. Probably means I’m in, right?