I love and adore renovation shows. Property Ladder, Selling Houses Australia, Extreme Makeover and Ten Years Younger. Can’t get enough of them. Love watching them, and I so want a TV network to foot the bill to renovate my home or me.
Me, I’d love it. Cut my hair, resurface my face, buy me a whole new wardrobe. Where’s the negatives? I’d only say no to big Angelina Jolie lips. Just don’t have enough face to get away with that. But anything else I’m game for.
I’d be as grateful as say an American on Ten Years Younger. They are so grateful and up for anything. Unlike the NZ Ten Years Youngerparticipants who I collectively call the Negative Nancys who don’t want to change anything. (It was a slow TV week and NZ Ten Years Younger was all that was on).
And the other thing that really gets my goat about these shows is people who don’t look after their teeth. I’m not talking about the poor unfortunates who have a gap in their teeth big enough to drive a bus through.
No I mean those people who smoke, never go to the dentist and worse, never brush their teeth. That is so disgusting. Why should thousands of dollars be spent on them giving them a new smile? Bugger them. They are gross and unhygienic. Why they’re Jessica Simpson.
That’s someone who you didn’t think would be anything to do with this post, isn’t it. Well Miss Simpson doesn’t clean her teeth. Maybe that’s what John Mayer meant when he called her sexual napalm. He was obviously talking about her breath. Honest to god, Jessica Simpson doesn’t brush her teeth. She’s paid a fortune for a Tom Cruise-worthy set of veneers and she doesn’t even look after them.
This is what she told iheartradio. “I don’t brush my teeth. No, really! I just use Listerine–and sometimes I’ll use my sweater. I do brush every now and again, but my teeth are really powerful.”
She’s an idiot. Who has powerful teeth? Does she think they’re like Sampson’s hair and if she brushes them she’ll lose her superpowers?
Anyway this is the shame of it. In about five years, when they fall out, she’ll just get new ones. Ungrateful wench.
I on the other hand brush my teeth, floss and go to the dentist every six months. My last visit cost me $4000 because I cracked my tooth on a olive seed lurking in a pizza. So, so unfair.
Does anyone want to do a TV makeover on me? I’m game for anything (except aforementioned big lips) and I promise to be grateful.
Loaded Web Australia
[...] You may be a politican but you’re just like the rest of us. You can’t resist a good old-fashioned makeover. And what a good job they did too. I wonder if there was any airbrushing involved? I hope not [...]
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