Gen X Journey

God it’s been hot. So hot that the cold water in the tap runs hot. So hot that you don’t even bother with the GHD because your hair’s going to frizz anyway. So hot that wearing clothes should be optional. So in the spirit of things I decided to go without my bra. Until I looked at myself in the mirror and realised my nipples were close talking with my belly button.

There they were in all their glory with nary a bra strap in sight. In fact all that was in sight was lots and lots of skin, barely covered by lace. She had designed the dress herself. No! It was inspired by the sea AND the rainforest, just like a walking Dunk Island. And it had such along train, probably to mimic the rolling of the waves, that her husband spent the night rearranging like an over attentive maid of honour. Not since last year’s has the AB Medal seen such a display of flesh.

So it got me thinking. If Hayley Bracken can go braless in a dress like that then fake boobs are looking better and better for we regular folk. (Forgive me if I am incorrect about her boobs not being real. They look like a matched pair of Jupiter’s moons but I could be wrong). So anyway I’ve come up with a few good reasons why fake boobs are good, so good in fact, that I really, really want some (but my bank account and my naysayer husband say no).

1. You would never have to wear a bra again (not underwire, not pushup, not strapless, not anything).
2. They’re commonplace, all of us know someone who’s got some.
3. They give you the confidence to go to awards ceremonies wearing environmental art.
4. You never have to wear a bikini top with a booster insert that takes 3 years to dry after swimming.
5. When you lie down your boobs won’t disappear into your armpits.

If this were a fair and balanced argument I would give you reasons not to get a boob job, but it’s not so I won’t.

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