I’ve always had a little celebrity crush on stylist Rachel Zoe. I loved her A-Z style book and I have been glued to the two seasons of her reality TV show, The Rachel Zoe Project.
I’ve even started sprinkling my everyday conversation with Rachel Speak. “That’s bananas” accent and situation perfect. I” also been known to breathily gush the occasional “I die” and my all time favourite “Shutting. It. Down.”
However I got a little pissed with Rachel in the last series when she experienced health issues and her doctor diagnosed vertigo. I thought only Jane Austen characters got vertigo, or blondes from Alfred Hitchcock movies, not Hollywood stylists but apparently it is one of the most common complaints in the US. Australians don’t get vertigo because other Aussies would just laugh at them.
Of course that’s what I did, I laughed when the doctor diagnosed Rachel Zoe with vertigo. And looking at recent photos I think my scepticism may not have been too far off the mark. Rachel may have symptoms of vertigo, but I think she might be more in need of a good meal, one that includes some steak.
Think about it, have you ever seen Rachel Zoe eat one single thing? Ever? She’s always slurping a frappe, but solid food, no.
There was a bit of a song and dance in one of the episodes about Rachel’s skinny chest. Perhaps she was right to be concerned. Doctors estimate that Rachel currently weighs 36kg, that’s the size of a 9 year old child. That’s bananas.
The pity is that Rachel spruiks the importance of beautiful accessories as the embodiment of style. If she keeps going the way she is going she’s not going to be able to bear the weight of the statement necklace, or even lift her arm to show off her snake cuff. Her only memorable accessory with be her tiny, childlike frame.
I think the quote of last series was when Taylor (assistant with God-like aspirations) and Brad (drama queen assistant) had the following conversation about Rachel’s health issues.
Taylor: She might possibly die.
Brad: But not, like, “I die” kind of die, right?
Taylor: No, not like “shutting it down”. She might just die.
Let’s hope it doesn’t go that far.
Let me finish up with some breaking news. Rachel has finally found enough guts to sack Taylor. Bye bye Tay-Tay.
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